do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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