This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
