I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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