My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
