you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
