They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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