I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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