I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
