Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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