Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
