I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think weed is turning my hair brown
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
