I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Can I color on your dick again?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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