While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
