Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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