They should really pass out barf bags in church
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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