I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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