Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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