considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
