No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
