Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
