Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
