hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
