What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
