ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
