i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
