i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
