Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
