somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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