just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
