after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
