this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
