Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
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I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
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Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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