so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
