He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
