I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
