i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
