No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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