windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
