I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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