I want to stick my p in your. b.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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