we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize