i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
