she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
