I must be too annoying 4 u.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
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i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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