My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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