Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
