TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
