how do flat chested girls get laid?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
