forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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