Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize