Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
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He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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