so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
