hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
