So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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