Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
