My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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