i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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