That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
