...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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