trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize