Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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