Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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