these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
