i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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