let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Randomize
